Call me Lewis or Clark, Im in unchartered territory.

I feel like a 35 year old business-type, a blossoming career, a loving spouse, 3 kids. How do you balance it all? Maybe some days you do enjoy work more than home. I dont want to make my surrogate family feel unloved, but I find myself glowing when Im out and about.

Families are so complicated. There´s no right way to have a family. There´s no familial ¨norm¨ right? Not anymore, what with the soaring divorce rates and homosexual parents (that sounds so mike huckabee but Im pro-LOVE) . I don´t know a single person that can claim to live in ¨the average, everyday family.¨ There are pros and cons (likewitheverythingblah)and it all depends on who you´re using as the equivalent.

I spent the weekend, not with my au pair family, but with my friend N´s family. A dad, a mom, an older brother, and N. Starting on Friday morning (circa 7 am- gasp) we relaxed with her mother, went to the doctor (a sign that the banality of depression has become our new normal), went to the store, cooked, laughed, PICKED FIGS- I climbed the tree like a mono, I met her beautiful abuela- her skin feels like a newborn baby, soft from years of use, and she has the most intricate pattern of laugh lines decorating her face that, rather than betray her age, give her the glow of someone that is still very much alive- she captures the essence of everything I want to grow up to be.
After a nap, drinking in the park- in Spain they mix wine with everything- sprite, tonic, and (we had it with) coke- we went to L´s and listened to music and took photos and drank and drank. wonderful.
The next day we woke (at 1) ate breakfast (lunch) and then I played video games with N´s brother. oh. sigh. her parents brought N and I to segovia with them, a relaxing hour-long drive up into mountains, where we were to pick berries in order to make a spanish liquor called Pacharán. we picked wild blackberries and watched horses run free and it was all amazing and a little lifetime movie-ish (which you know I love). the tagline would be something like this:

when a girl leaves home for the first time, the last thing she expects to find is a new family- the music swells in the background

then I guess the family would have to turn into psycho killers or someone gets cancer, following typical lifetime family movie format.

It seems that I value quality over quantity, humility with generosity, and casual we´ll-all-eat-out-of-the-same-bowl-and-use-the-same-fork-throughout-the-meal kind of dining. Its what Im used to and I dont expect to be judged for it. I embrace the differences of my au pair family´s lifestyle- its luxurious in a confined way, compelety gratuitous in a wealthy way, and certainly incredibly kind in a way that says to me that they´re trying to understand where I come from as much as Im trying to understand how I can fit into their lives.
No one has a perfect family, it cannot exist. I think Im discovering the distinct differences in what works for me and what doesnt, what I prefer in my own family and what Ill try to bring to the one I create. I will try not to judge or place blame on those families who exist outside my standards of love and care-giving. its difficult.

MISSSSSS YOUUU (&ME)